Tuesday, February 21, 2012

GET YOURSELF A GOOD STIFF DRINK FOR THIS ONE

I am going to tell you a story unlike you have heard before. It is a shortened version of the bible. It is about sin. creation,the life of Jesus, the crucifixion and the resurrection. It is the basis of the splits which cause churches to divide themselves over interpretation of a word. I am going to tell it to you like you were innocent and never heard it before. You will be appalled at the acts of incredible stupidity and cruelty if you listen in innocence and will be positive you would never do such a thing. Well here goes. This is how it started.

Once upon a time a being called God had a thought. He didn't tell anyone because there was nobody around. "I am going to create heaven and earth." and did. He did this by dividing the waters from the waters and the dark from the dark. He created all life forms including plants, Then he created a man to tend to all he created, He felt sorry for the man who looked lonely and from the man he created woman from one of his ribs. God created all of this perfect in every way as God was perfect in every way. He called the first man Adam and the first woman was called Eve, They lived in a perfect garden called Eden. God said you can eat from any tree except the tree of knowledge because you shall surely die if you do. One day the serpent appeared in the garden and beguiled Eve, telling her the fruit was good and she surely will not die. The moment she ate it she realized she was naked and covered herself. God who came walking through the garden with his voice knew she had eaten the forbidden fruit and had given some to Adam who had just finished naming all the creatures in the garden and needed a snack. God was furious because they had disobeyed him and he had made them perfect in a perfect garden and had a discussion with the host of them and decided to cast them out of the garden before they ate from the tree of life as well. There is some concern with who God was talking too when there was nobody else there but that is another story. There is also the question of what was a serpent doing in the perfect garden talking to Eve which created this original sin but again that is another story. anyway the story goes that after they left the garden they had two sons, Cain and Able and God still visited and not much really changed. One day in a fit of jealousy Cain kills Able for no apparent reason other than to spill his blood over the land which now Lord God figures this out almost on cue and confronts Cain. "What have you done. Your brothers blood cries out from the land?" Cain was found guilty and was sentenced to be King of the mountain tribes. And they say crime does not pay. Cain said he would surely be killed if he goes up there and pleaded with Lord God not to send him away. But the Lord God was stern in his conviction and decreed that no one will harm Cain and it was so. Cain left the second garden and moved into the mountains where he was crowned King. There is this other question you may be asking yourself just what did he become King of since there was no other people and the earth had just been created perfect he there they were just like the Lord God said and Cain already knew. the rest of the story of Adam and Eve is that they lived another nine hundred years and had another son named Seth.

Now here are four questions you must answer before you go on and it gets better so think hard. Write your answers in the comments sheet at the bottom of the page and submit.

  1. Why would God suddenly decide to create heaven and earth from nothing prior to there being a sin and death?
  2. What was a serpent doing in the garden to beguile Eve in the first place. Remember it was created perfect by a perfect being and they were created in his image.
  3. Who was God talking to when he spoke to the host of them and who was the them he was host of if there was nobody else there.
  4. Where did all of these mountain people come from that Cain became King of?
This is the end of part one but before you close your mind completely remember rocks are solid as and the word is good. So consider what you have been told has been told in sin which is blind and hides in the dark. Also consider that everything you have ever been told is true.


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